Note: 772 words counted. "As an aside, the authorship of 'If You Were an Award' is a matter of debate. There appears to be no online mention of either Juan Tabo or S. Harris outside the context of this story, and it seems curious that such a simple piece of writing would require two authors. Given that the story was published on Vox Day's blog, it is quite possible that Day wrote it himself, using a double-pseudonym as a prank." --Doris V. Sutherland, June 9, 2016 in 2016 Hugo Reviews

Synopsis: The narrator speaks to his politically-correct girlfriend as if she were a Hugo award. (Satire)